Becoming comfortable in our own skin is one of the greatest challenges we face in our lifetime. A person who is comfortable and at ease with his own self is most likely to be successful in his life, have meaningful relationships, and be respected by others. On the other hand, insecure people have difficulties coping with different aspects of life. Every single individual feels insecure at times, it’s but human. The difference is that where some are better at channelizing their energies in a positive manner whereas others cling to them and be miserable.
Understanding the insecurities of others can help you cope with your own personal insecurities. But firstly, understanding insecurity itself with regard to your own personal growth is essential. Where a secure person is comfortable in his own skin and is happy with what s/he has in life, an insecure person constantly devalues himself and is easily influenced by the ideas, opinions and values of others because they themselves have no opinion of their own. Insecurity can erupt from a violent or disturbed childhood, can be a reaction to peer pressure or societal expectations, and can also result from failure in a past experience.
One must acknowledge one’s own sense of security before endeavoring to find faults with others. If not, then it might result in you disliking the person just because s/he reminds you of a trait in yourself that you immensely dislike. While judging others, you would do well to spot signs of insecurity in them in order to understand the nuances of their mind more completely and to understand them at a more personal level.
Signs of insecurity include the most basic of all traits that we often shrug off as personality traits. If looked closely, one can determine that instead of being a part of personality, that one particular trait might just be a disguise to hide the darkness within. Some of the most common signs of insecurity are selfishness, arrogance, fawning and flattering, sulking, gossiping, chatterboxes, using foul language, materialistic, defensiveness and extreme competitiveness are but to name a few.
At times, body language of an individual is a perfect giveaway of their insecurities. If the body language is open and intangible, meaning if s/he is standing tall and straight, then that person is most likely to be very secure in him. On the other hand, if the body language is closed, meaning slouching, slumping, folded arms, are indications of an insecure personality.
Straightening out the closest of relationships can be the most heinous of tasks because when it comes to loved ones, we prefer to remain aloof. Acknowledging that your loved one needs help and making them understand that too is a massive step towards fighting their insecurities. Their symptoms of jealousy, promiscuity and violent or addictive tendencies can be distorted and changed for the better.
Tread carefully while in the company of insecure people. Once you know where they stand, you have to be very careful as to what you say and how you say it so as not to offend the other person or trigger an unwanted reaction from them. Thoughtfulness is the name of the game. Don’t be vague in your interaction with them. Be open. Be approachable.
Avoid being a negative influence on other people. The more secure you are in your self, the more positive your aura would be to other people. That way, you’ll be able to avoid name calling, labeling or criticism of any sort. Remember, words once spoken cannot be taken back. So be very careful about what you say for you never know what the other person might make of it.
Finally, the last step for you to accomplish is to overcome your own insecurities. Once you have realized your own problems, you have crossed the main hurdle and are well on your way towards a healthy and secure life. All you need to do is atop comparing yourself to others and consider your own strengths. The key to success is identifying your insecurities, accepting them, quashing them and then moving past them.
